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What’s In That Head of Yours?

June 26th, 2009 by stephanie

Ever been around someone who is negative? Of course we have. And generally, when we are, we feel like running for the nearest exit. Yet there are days, I too have an attitude that can chase folks off if I am not careful.

A friend of mine the other day reminded me, “You’re a deep thinker.” I had to ponder that a moment. (See what I mean!)  It made me wonder if I need to watch that characteristic a bit more. We deep thinkers can drop into that melancholy state. And rather than simply pay a visit, we park there awhile.

But the negative people I am referring to just don’t seem to find the good or the upside to things. Even when you point them out, they almost argue with you to prove that the sky is falling. Or at least, they inform you that it will within time. 

What we think about begins processing in our minds. In time, those thoughts then tell us where we should go.  Do you follow that? If I chew on a thought like say, “Oh, I don’t feel well. Nope, not doing good.” You can bet by noon, I will be quite sick. 

If I say about someone, “I don’t like her.” And I begin to think of all the reasons why, and keep going over them, you can be pretty sure I won’t be joining her for coffee anytime soon.

However, if I want to watch those calories, and I focus on that, I will be more careful with my food choices. Because it will be on my mind.  If I am determined to have a good day. It will be so. If I want to be nice to people, and think about ways that I can be kind and thoughtful, it’s going to happen. I think you understand.

I found a few pithy comments and proverbs to back up my point. See what you think.

 

  • “For as he thinks within himself, so he is” (Proverbs 23:7). 
  • “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill
  • “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute . . . dwell on these things” (Philippians 4:8). 
  • “It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts.” – Robert H. Schuller
  • “Therefore, prepare your minds for action” (1 Peter 1:13).

What’s in that head of yours today?  Does it need some tweaking or say a bit of a tune-up?

If so, why not re-direct your thoughts, and point them in the right direction.

 

Just my thoughts on this very summer day.

S.

June 24th, 2009 by stephanie

Thoughts, positive or negative, grow stronger when fertilized with constant repetition.

June 24th, 2009 by stephanie

A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver. ~Thomas á Kempis

I Have Something for You…

June 24th, 2009 by stephanie

As I looked down at the text, I couldn’t imagine what my friend meant. Had I left something at the restaurant or at church? Had she, once again, picked up after me? I can get easily distracted and have a tendency to walk off without a lot of things I walked in with.

“It’s a gift card,” she chirped into the phone when I called her back to inquire.

“I have this gas card, and I want you to have it.”

Little did she know I was going to be driving every day the next week to another town. And it was going to be a full tank of gas if not more. I wasn’t worried, but I knew I would have to plan for it.

“I just felt that I needed to give it to you,” she said in all earnest. ” I want to do this.”

I was so touched. This girl is not made of money in the least. She has a very tight budget. But she simply wanted to give.

The amount on the card came exactly to a full tank of gas. As I looked at the pump, I just smiled. What a blessing that friend was. And she was pleased to put that smile on my face.

Random acts of kindness. They make life so much nicer. If you’ve had something on your mind to do for a friend, may I suggest you do it. And do it today. There might be a reason that person is on your mind. And who knows, you may be meeting an unknown need.

Just my thoughts.

S.

June 23rd, 2009 by stephanie

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.
— Ralph Nichols

June 23rd, 2009 by stephanie

Many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request. — Phillip Stanhope
Earl of Chesterfield

A Good Friend & Guacamole.

June 23rd, 2009 by stephanie

I wish I could take credit for that great line, but I can’t. When my friend called, I could tell she’d had a rough day. Not one to complain, I could also tell she also didn’t want to unload on me. But she needed to.

Trying not to push, I did my best to keep her talking, “Have you had dinner?” About an hour later we were sitting in our favorite place enjoying comfort food. What that means is, we were downing baskets of tortilla chips and salsa. I’m pretty sure that any workout coaches or trainers in the place were probably horrified. Our calorie intake in that short interval of time could most likely last us for the rest of the week. But the food going in wasn’t the point. It was what needed to come out of her head and heart that mattered most.

There are those times that what you really need is simply someone to talk to. And, a good meal to go with it usually works wonders too. My friend said it best, “Fighting off the grouchies with a good friend and guacamole. Works every time!” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

I sometimes wonder, if we as a people were just a bit more willing to lend an ear to someone who has had a rough day or is feeling grumpy, would visits to the therapists go down?

I once was unloading on a friend about a very bad week I’d had. Suddenly, she said, “You need counseling. Here’s a number.”

Personally, I was shocked. I had listened to her on more than one occasion as she unloaded on the ills of her life. But for some reason, this time, she wasn’t in a listening mood. She wanted to help me fix it. And she was doing what she thought was right. I knew my problem wasn’t exactly fixable at that time, and I merely wanted to get the usual frustrations off my chest. All I really needed was a good friend that didn’t mind if I vented. For a very long time.

I had to ask, what did people do before professional counselors? Hmmm.

Now, in all fairness, I didn’t and still do not blame my friend for what transpired that day. I am fully aware that there have been times I too have had more than enough on my plate and wasn’t able to handle what was coming from the other person as well.

We as people, however, do need each other. It’s just a fact of life. We need to bear each others’ burdens. And yes, at times, it will be frustrating, disappointing, and even a bit inconvenient.

You do have to wonder though, would schedules at the counseling centers suddenly open up if we listened to folks a bit more? And too, if folks and their listening ears were there in turn for us.
Just my thoughts. And yours?

S.

IF YOU CAN’T SAY SOMETHING NICE…

June 19th, 2009 by stephanie

Most of us will admit, we grew up hearing that statement. If it didn’t come from our mothers it came from some other well meaning soul that wanted to help us along our way.

Sometimes, it’s not even the saying of anything that hurts –it can be simply the actions.  More times than not, I can remember where someone didn’t have to say a word. They were just “rude” or mean in their behavior.  I think you follow me on this one. 

I was assisting a friend with a project awhile back. There were some other folks involved and for some reason, they just didn’t seem to like my presence. Rather than explain what the problem was, they decided to just, oddly enough, be rude. It wasn’t the words they chose necessarily as it was the tone, or their body language when they said it.

It’s amazing how people can say something like “Pass the stapler” and make it sound like you just cut them off in traffic while they have to be at their destination in five minutes-and they are still 20 minutes away. And it’s your fault. Strange.

And too, sometimes people seem to have the need to let you know that the color or the shirt that you’re wearing, “Just isn’t workin’ for ya today.” Or, that perhaps you might want to rethink that “idea” you had.  For whatever reason, they need to let you know, in some way, that you are a bit less, or inferior to them.

 

I don’t know how their treatment of you and me in those situations makes them feel better, but alas, I guess it does.

With that, regardless of the odd-bird whos or whats in your life today, remember this old saying too: misery loves company.

So, don’t keep company with the miserable. Leave them alone. Let them go their way. And for you my friend, if you can’t say something nice back, just don’t say anything at all. 

Just my thoughts.

Stephanie

Prov. 15:1

June 19th, 2009 by stephanie

If you think it’s okay to take time off promoting your business/product, you are dead wrong, but I’d like to thank you.You’ve made it easier for the rest of us to pass you by.

– Tyler Hurst

June 19th, 2009 by stephanie

The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions.

William F. Scolavino

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