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When You Don’t See Eye to Eye.

September 29th, 2009 by stephanie

Ever disagree? I have. I wrote this pondersome moment (if that’s even a real phrase) some time back, but due to a particular request, it’s making a reappearance today. The quotes to the side are new. Be sure you check them out. Enjoy.

 

Being upset and knowing my mother wouldn’t mind if I let off a bit of steam, I let the feelings roll. I was just amazed at how people can be on two totally different pages, and still like each other. But it sure makes for a difficult ride during the relationship. And many times, the argument can even end it.

I don’t know why I was so surprised at the frustration over not seeing eye to eye with a particular individual. It is a very simple premise. That is why wars are fought. You see things one way, I, with my different background and beliefs see things another way. You dig in. I entrench. Shots get fired. And before you know it, the battle rages.

People who want to eradicate war are ignoring a very human reality. One that will never be wiped away. I am not going to change the way you were brought up and how you believe. In turn, it is not very likely that you will change my mind either. What to do, what to do, what to do?

There is a saying I have taken to heart many times over the years. “When in a tug of war, let go of your end.” If you think about it, you will begin to see the wisdom in that statement. If both sides are huffing and puffing and pulling with all their might, and suddenly, one side just “let’s go” what happens? That’s right, the side left with the rope all falls down.

Now, am I saying to just give up, even when you believe deeply about something? No. Am I saying if you get tired of the fight, let go? No. What I am saying is that many times in our lives, some arguments and disagreements simply aren’t worth the fight. Period. Sometimes, one side just needs to let go, accept that the two sides shall never agree, and move on. It’s that easy.

If there is a struggle in your life that you are holding onto. If you deep down know that you are not going to change your way of thinking, and too, you know deep down, the other person is not going to change, then why keep fighting? Neither of you are going to successfully convince the other. Someone has got to let go. It might as well be you. Save your energy for the crises. The real things in life that need your attention and matter.

Just my thoughts,
S.

Here’s a tip!

September 25th, 2009 by stephanie

Sometimes it’s the simplest of things in life that can make life better. Or, you could say, it’s the oddest or most mundane things that can surprise you and become the heroic.

She was heading out from a club. Her sister had been singing and she was there to support her and enjoy the evening. Pulling onto the freeway in her big Durango, she felt the precarious bump, bump, bump in the tires beneath that signals trouble.

Making her way over to the shoulder under the overpass, she realized, It’s 11:00 pm. I am a pregnant woman. Alone on the freeway. Not good.

Her husband had graciously remained at home watching the baby so she could enjoy the evening. As the child was sound asleep, he would not be able to leave and come to her rescue. Fortunately, her father took the call and was there in a short time.

Frantically working away, he finally got her up and running. As he began to pull away, she turned the key. Nothing. She tried again. But the battery would not cooperate. Once again, her car would not be taking her to safety.

Long story short, those wonderful flashing blue lights, that can strike fear into the heart of a speeding driver, appeared in her rearview mirror. Those lights felt like the arrival of the Cavalry that night to our damsel in distress.

After a quick assessment, the officer sauntered back to his car and returned with a Coke. What! she fumed to herself. You’re thirsty!? Casually, as if on cue, he twisted open the beverage and poured a bit into the cap. Odd, she thought. He then in turn poured the capful onto the corroded area of the battery.

“Start ‘er up,” he instructed. And with that, she did.

Finally, at 12:30 in the morning, she pulled away. Thanks to a bit of good ole “Co’cola”, as they say here in the South.

Now, I will tell you, I am a true Coke fan. Iced cold, if you don’t mind. But I had no idea that it could be a girl’s hero. My grandmother always reminded me of a science experiment they did in school. “We put a penny in that bottle of coke, and then one day, it was gone!” She never did much care for Coke after that.

This may not be the best method of car repair, and it could go with a disclaimer, “Please do not try this at home.” But, in a pinch, I’d say, keep that bottle of Coke in the back seat or the trunk. One just never knows.

A simple drink. Just a drop. Who knew? But I will say, it reminded me of a verse in the Bible. God, too, seems to enjoy using things we don’t think of to make a big splash in life. Check it out:

“But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;” 1 Cor. 1 :27

Just my thoughts. And, well, His. Which are always much better. But, hey.

S.

Now Available at Amazon.com

September 21st, 2009 by stephanie

Well, who knew! I can now be found, well, not me actually, but you can find my book at Amazon.com.

Pretty nifty, eh?

Well, that is if you are single…or know someone who is. But then, we’re hearing from married women and men that like it too!

Here’s the link:
http://www.amazon.com/When-You-Grow-Up-Get-Single/dp/0615312462/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253556332&sr=1-1

Or, you can just go to Amazon.com and look it up: WHEN YOU GROW UP AND GET…SINGLE

So, my new book is out. But before you go buying it at Amazon, just know you can also order it from this website. (JUST CLICK ON THE BOOKSTORE TAB). Your order will ship out the same day you order, and too, it will save you money when you go through our team.
But that’s just an FYI. Everyone is welcome to order as they wish! How they wish. Truly!

My book is One Girl’s Dish on Making the Single Life Work.

From the time we’re little girls, we hear, “When you grow up and get married…” But that scenario doesn’t always play out exactly as we plan. Huffman teaches single girls keys for getting the most out of life, the secret to taking on challenges with a smile, and explains the value of finding love and encouragement among friends. Packed with real-world stories and advice from a real-world single gal, When You Grow Up and Get…Single proves that parties of one cannot just survive – but thrive – in a table for two sized world.

I hope you will share this with a single friend or two. I would love for the book to bring them a smile.

Just my thoughts,
S.

Do Not Exit While Train is Moving.

September 17th, 2009 by stephanie

As I worked my way and my luggage up the steps and into the train headed for Union Station, I plopped down into the first two available seats. I then hurriedly began the dance, shuffle, swirl where I tried to organize my things so as not to slow up those making their way down the aisle behind me.

Once everything was in place, I breathed that universal, “finally” sigh of relief. I had made it. Off the plane. Onto the transit bus. To the ticket window. Over the bridge. And now, onto the train headed for my destination.

It was the instruction card in the seat pocket in front of me that caught my eyes and conjured up an unexpected laugh. Which I quickly attempted to stifle.

“Do not exit the train while it is moving?” Really? Do people do that? Oh my.

(I also happened to notice it was in Braille as well. Hmmmmmm.)

It got me to thinking. Aren’t there certain things that should just be understood? “Givens”, we call them. But alas, a multitude of today’s population somehow never quite got the memo.

The one that reads:

– Dear young couple in the plane seats next to me. You do not need to be physically on top of each other and kissing throughout the entire flight. Honest. You will live long enough to do that once we land at the end of our 90 minute flight. And oh, yes, there are single people in the world that just don’t need that today. I, would be one of them. (Sigh.)

or

– Dear lady: Please cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough.

or

– Dear sir: When I am trying to get on the escalator, there is no need for you to race me. We will both get to the bottom (preferably both of us still standing) if you will just wait your turn. Some of us were fortunate enough to receive that “wait-in-line-lesson-thing” back in kindergarten, but I digress…
So, you can imagine my chuckle when the instructions in front of me kindly reminded me to stay seated until we reached our destination and the train had stopped.

I am pleased to report, I followed the directions.

In today’s day and age, guidelines are sometimes so “old school”. We threw them out in the 60s I guess? Not sure. But I do know that perhaps, etiquette, rules, instructions, directions…might not be such a bad thing after all.

Just my thoughts,

S.

Our Furry Friends.

September 14th, 2009 by stephanie

Pets for some folks are like family. And, for many of us singles who don’t have kids, we have dogs. Or cats. Or bunnies. Or birds….If you have not personally as yet found that quintessential quadruped of choice, you really should think about it.

I was shocked when a friend of mine called at the end of August. She’d been gone for a few weeks. When she came home, though she’d hired someone to care for her sweet cat, she arrived to find that her precious critter of 15 years was dying. The night she returned home, she found herself in the emergency pet hospital making the decision to put the beloved friend to its final rest.

When I picked up the phone today to retrieve my voicemail, I would never have dreamed that another gal, a mutual friend of myself and the girl who lost her cat, was calling to say she, now, was on her way to put down her chocolate Laborador Retriever, “Happy.”

Needless to say, I was speechless. These gals, like me, have not-yet-married. And those furry friends can become quite a part of your life. They bring incredible joy. They comfort you when you’re blue and they make you laugh. They are there when we come home to a cold dark house at the end of a long trip, or day. And they are there to greet us when we awake in the morning.

Those who have never experienced that special, amazing bond with a pet may not be able to relate to today’s thoughts. But for those of you that have, your heart I am sure goes out to my two friends.

If you have a pet, may I suggest you pat on them them a tad more tonight, walk them a bit longer and buy that bag of treats you’ve been thinking about next time you are at the store. They are worth the vet bills and the food bags and the flea and tick repellant that they cost.

So here’s to our Furry Friends. The ones God created just for us. I, for one, am so glad that He did.

Just my thoughts.
S.

And now…back to the daily grind.

September 8th, 2009 by stephanie

And so it goes. A restful weekend in tribute to the American worker followed by that splash of cold water known as the return to the usual routine. We put one toe in, and pull back. Gradually, we edge further in until we are back swimming where we once were before we departed for some time away.

And why do we return? Bills, my friend. Lots and lots of those silly invoices that find their way into our mail boxes and our virtual bank accounts.

It amazes me how money is truly a central focus of our lives. Not just of our culture, but anywhere. If you want to eat, you work. Well, at least, some of us follow that little golden rule.

I remember once hearing a story about the supposed real reason for Oprah’s exit from inner city work and her trek across the waters to assist in Africa. Basically, she grew tired of asking the students she encountered what they wanted in life. Apparently, she constantly received the answer of bigger iPods, more expensive shoes, and just plain money. But in fairness, that scenario is not reserved merely for just these kids. Even the rich want to be richer. It’s a very human thing.

When I think about the kind of people that built America, wrote our great constitution, and fought for our freedom, that type of “what’s in it for me” or “give me more” personality and character just doesn’t come to mind. It saddens me to think of where we as a country have landed and where we will be in the decades ahead. When the focus is only on ourselves and where we are going in life and what we can get, there is no room left to think of others.

As I have confessed or divulged, I am a huge reality TV fan. But it was the finale of one particular show that definitely caught my attention of late. Very wealthy families, on display, showed the world their lifestyles and their relationships. But it was the updates on what their children were doing that stunned me. Here were college age and high school kids, from families dripping with money, that could get jobs anywhere in the world, at any Fortune 500 company, and attend any ivy league school. Yet, the rolling credits produced the following:

Joe is attending community college

Larry, the drug addict, got a job as a waiter and is attending community college

Frank works in the parts department of some auto store

Sandy is working at a termite company

I was amazed that they had rejected the lifestyle that so many kids would give their eye teeth to have. I for one used to dream of what it would be like to yacht around the world and attend Oxford. But such was not to be. I do not judge these kids. I have not walked in their shoes. All I can say is, it is definitely an interesting social situation to ponder.

One thing is for sure, these kids are not worried about bettering themselves or their country. The focus is on today. What works for now. The party that they will attend tonight. There’s a definite lack of stress for the future.

On the flip side, I have been around kids from homeschooling families that have astronomically hight SAT scores. They aspire to be governors and senators (if not President), they memorize the Declaration of Independence, they know how to field dress a deer, mow their ailing neighbors lawn, visit the nursing homes and take gifts and fix my computer when it has a bug.

Our country is diverse to say the least. And these two cultures of polar opposites do cause for pause and think. The beauty of America is that we still have a choice. A choice to live opulently and leisurely. The choice, too, to aspire to amazing heights and better ourselves and our future.

May we learn one thing from this post-holiday lesson. Whatever we choose, there will be an end result. Our lives will bear the fruit of our labors-whatever they may be. I pray we choose wisely and well. We have it in us. And for today, we have the most sacred gift of all. Freedom to be who we want to be and to work where and how we choose.. Here’s to staying free.

Just my thoughts.

S.

Just stop it, will you?

September 3rd, 2009 by stephanie

“Would you stop?” Words we’ve all heard at some point or another. Or, perhaps words we have directed toward someone in our sphere that is continuing in a frantic pace. Busy children, friends with hectic schedules, family members with frenzied focus. Suddenly the words just seem to pop out: “Stop it. Will you? Just stop. Calm down. Chill. Rest. Ok”?

If you have ever been on the receiving end of those words, as I have, you know the embarrassed, almost flustered feeling you get when they finally sink in. You get it that you need to stop. Breathe. Rest. But…so much to be done. So much to be done. Right?

This verse seems to come round again and again to me. I would imagine that you have heard it, seen it, or may be familiar with it as well. It is from the book of Psalms and goes like this: Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. Ps. 46:10

Hmmmm. Hard to believe God doesn’t need me to be busy today. To save the world. But alas, I guess he managed pretty well before me, and (sigh) hard to believe He will manage without me when I am gone. And the world will keep spinning and go on as well.

It was some research I did on the fact that even Jesus managed to tear himself away, that got my attention of late. And, I noticed He liked to get away to the water quite a bit. Like I do. One of His favorite places was on the north end of the Sea of Galilee. Take a look:

Matt. 8:18 ¶ Now when Jesus saw a crowd around Him, He gave orders to depart to the other side of the sea.

Matt. 9:1 ¶ Getting into a boat, Jesus crossed over the sea and came to His own city.

Matt. 13:1 ¶ That day Jesus went out of the house and was sitting by the sea.

Matt. 15:29 ¶ Departing from there, Jesus went along by the Sea of Galilee, and having gone up on the mountain, He was sitting there.

Mark 3:7 ¶ Jesus withdrew to the sea with His disciples; and a great multitude from Galilee followed; and also from Judea,

Anyway. You get the idea. So, if you were debating about getting away this weekend, I say, just do it. The world and it’s inhabitants will still be there when you get back. God will still be in His heavens and He will manage to handle things pretty well while you’re away. I promise.

Just my thoughts.
S.

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