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Tales of a Plumber: Rooting out the Truth.

June 18th, 2013 by stephanie

It was a normal Wednesday night. Suddenly, the bathtub was backed up and full of black gunk. I could hear the back bathroom toilet start to overflow. “Trouble!” was the word that came tumbling out of my mouth. After a few wet vacs and fan treatments at midnite, and not much sleep, the next morning I called the plumber.

The stereotypical plumber guy came to my aid. And he got right to work. He summed up the situation then meticulously took on the problem at hand. While he was roto-rooting the depths of my home’s abode, I popped my head in to check on things. It was then that he started to talk, and talk…and talk.

“Yeah. I’m gonna write a book,” he grunted while holding the pliers in his mouth and twisting a wrench. “Been doin’ this for over 25 years. I could tell you stories all day.” I figured he was about to do just that. And before I could escape to the kitchen, he began.

On one particular call, he found himself at the home of a lovely woman. While there he began the task of tending to the clogged toilet. He informed her at one point during the procedure that he had the problem on the other end and would soon be pulling it up–if she would like to see the culprit. All were gathered in the bathroom to see this mystery emerge in real time. As the wad in question surfaced and he began to unwind it, he suddenly realized it was a red negligee. Standing beside the woman was her husband–whom she promptly hauled off and belted in the mouth. That was before she started screaming at him and chasing him down the street. Apparently, the red nighty wasn’t hers!

On another occasion, at a preacher’s home, he learned that the problem was out back in the septic tank. The pastor and plumber headed out to the back 40. When they arrived at the area they pulled the first lid off. As they both peered in, a complete cache’ of discarded, sexual-protection devices stared back at them. Weeks later, the man called our faithful plumber back to the house. The Pastor greeted the service man at the door with a big hand shake and thanked him. (Apparently, this husband had been since chatting with the neighbors after that first fateful discovery). What he had learned was of interest. While he was hard at work ministering to the flocks, his wife had been serving “guests” at their home! At one point, she was reported to have had more than a few men over in the same evening. Needless to say, they were divorced shortly thereafter.

There were other stories. And to be honest, they were even more dramatic than the ones above, if you can imagine.
But as I stood there, with a most horrified look on my face, the only words I could muster in response were, “Be sure your sins will find you out.”

Now, these words actually come from Numbers 32:23. And they don’t have much to do with a clogged pipe and drains, but the apparent truths from these aforementioned situations are most evident. We may think we can hide, but in the end, the truth will come out. Possibly literally.

Just ask my plumber!

S.
Read Psalm 139:1-24

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